So you and I bump into each other at one of those parties where everyone is holding something (I’m holding a cactus, if you’re wondering. The host put it into my hand, and I intend to put it in the corner behind the end table with the inconspicuous lamp.) and acting as interesting as they possibly can in short, topical conversational points. And I make the mistake of mentioning I have a blog.
And you go, “Oh, you blog. Oh, interesting. My best friend is a blogger. How long have you been blogging.”
Me (kinda mumbly): Oh, ah, like four years…inconsistently.
You (kinda skeptical but acting interested): Oh, okay. So what do you blog about? Are you a photographer?
Me: Well, um, I write stuff, and sometimes I photograph things…and share them.
You: Ohhhh, okay. Yeah, my best friend’s 13-year-old nephew’s pet dog’s puppy is a writer. He’s so good. He writes poetry and short stories. He got his first story published last year.
Me (in my head): He’s a puppy, and he is doing so well, and I’m in my twenties, and I’ve only been blogging inconsistently, and I bet he has, like, so many followers. ‘Followers’ is kind of a weird thing to call people who like your stuff, super culty…
[MEANWHILE, AN AWKWARD PAUSE HAS BEEN HEALTHILY UNDERWAY]
Me (snapping out of it): Neat.
You: So, what do you write about?
Me: Yeah, so, I write these little vibey paragraphs that, I like to think of them as paragraphs out of a story about, well, it’s kind of this fictionalized version of me but not exactly. And —
You: So it’s fiction?
Me: Well, it’s stuff I’ve experienced or seen…just rendered through a particular lens of who I am. Also —
You: So it’s in first person.
Me: Well, sometimes. Not always. Sometimes, it’s in third person, you know, like in a story. And also —
You: Oh, so you’re like the omniscient narrator?
Me: Well, as omniscient as one can be… in one’s own life.
And then you smile and nod in that Ohhh, I get it kind of way, and then you turn to the person next to you and ask something cool and erudite and cultured like “Did you see Inside Out? That movie was amazing! Its portrayal of human emotion…”
That leaves me with cactus, and as I try surreptitiously to deposit it in the corner, I hope that when you, three months after today, alone in your abode, bored and scrolling through your phone, recall my “inconsistent blog,” you are not too put out to find some bits on books I love and strange photographic fragments from adventures. I hope, if anything, you are pleasantly surprised.